Followin’ my trip behind the Iron Curtain a few weeks back. Ah’ve been watchin’ the Paralympics on TV, while eating my porridge in the morning. From the bits I saw, I have to applaud the competitors in what must be the most strenuous, challenging, and just plain weird collection of competitive events. The faith, trust and determination not to let their physical differences limit their ambitions. The sheer effort required for some events was (to use a cliche) ..just awesome. Makes me feel like Glissading’s just some slobby bears sliding down a hill, rather than the technical athletic pursuit that it obviously is.
I watched the cross country sitting the other day. Now, this might sound like a fairly sedentary pursuit. One in which Scotland could be a genuine contender. …”and it’s McThingy fae SCS Bathgate taking Gold in the slalom 3-seater (reclinining) sofa…for the 2nd time” . However, it’s actually like pushing a wheelchair without wheels….yeah, I know that just sounds like.. a chair. The hard part is, that you’re sitting on the chair, in slush, and you can only use your arms…for about 10km, .. and the guy finishing behind you might have a different impairment which (under the Nordic Percentage System of ‘handicapping’) gets him a better score. So it’s almost as hard for the armchair viewer to watch and understand the sport.
Then there’s the visually impaired skiing. This is literally, ‘blind’ faith. Trusting that your guide isn’t going to crash and let you splat into a tree while trying to go faster than the rest of the field. Also, you really need to know, to believe, that your guide likes you.
Then, just as I wis gettin’ into it, it finished.
Across the water fae Sochi, Vlad was keen that the Russian team in Crimea were first past the post. Like some of the Paralympic events, the referendum doesn’t appear to have taken place on a level playing field, and the voters were handicapped by the limited questions placed before them. In world opinion terms, you could say the Russians were skating on thin ice, and it’s all gone downhill. (what?…what’s wrong with that?)
OK, ladies and gentlemen. Drum-roll please. Without a safety net, I’m now going to dip ma taes into the Black Sea of political seriousosity.
To summarise, it appears (if my understanding is correct) that the trouble began because the previous (pro-russian) Ukrainian Prime Minister (Mr Yanukovych.) didn’t sign a free trade/political association agreement with the EU, and opted for closer ties with Russia instead. This led to protest rallies, civil unrest, which then escalated into riots with around 100 deaths reported in Kiev as a result. Yanukovych then ran away, with Oleksandr Turchynov replacing him in the interim.
Simples. Keep up.
Comparing the Aleksandr/Oleksandrs, I have to say I prefer the Comrade Orlov, the meerkat.
The Crimean parliament considered the new interim Ukrainian government illegitimate and (having declared independence) organised the referendum for the strategic peninsula (with a 70% ethnic Russian population by the way) to decide if it wanted to join Russia or become an independent state. The status quo (a good band in their day), as part of Ukraine, wasn’t an option. Following the result, the newly independent Crimea, was immediately (ie. same day) invited to join the Russian federation. This has implications for those other ex-USSR countries with large numbers of Russian residents.
Paws for breath here. Phew! This is starting to look like serious. Must find some humour (or cheese) to turn this around.
Unlike myself, world events move quickly. Before I’ve even finished this blog (I do have a day job y’know), the Russkis have formally completed the paperwork and are looking to see what other bits of territory they might need to ‘defend’ – beware if your neighbours speak Russian, they may ask Putin to annexe your High Street next week.
To be fair to the Russians, (and to underline UK government hypocrisy/amnesia) the recent Crimean referendum (if you ignore the ballot options, indecent haste, etc..) would appear to have been a democratic yes/no, first-past-the-post-wins type of vote. At no time was it rigged to include an arbitrary ruling where 40% of the registered electorate had to vote yes for the result to stand. In any other election, or vote, 51.62% in favour versus 48.38% against would have seen the majority having their democratic wishes upheld (even with a 63.8% turnout). That apology for democracy wasn’t in some totalitarian corrupt communist country or fascist banana republic dictatorship, but took place right here, in Scotland in 1979. And I don’t remember world opinion calling for global sanctions against the organising (minority Labour) UK government at that time. Although with 96% (of 89% turnout) of Crimeans voting to join the Russian Federation, a 40% handicap wouldn’t have made any difference to the result. It could be argued that the Crimean population, in deciding to be independently governed by remote countries rather than be under the control of their nearest geographical neighbours, share some similarities with Gibraltarians & Falklanders.
What, I think I’m trying tae say is – It’d be nice if Scottish folk could raise themselves from their 3-seater sofas to participate and vote in ‘our’ referendum in such numbers on 18th September.
300 years is an awfy long time to wait for the opportunity to self-rule to come round again.
Then we can look forward positively, rather than lookin down the back o’ the sofa for past histories tae grump aboot. To take part in, and influence world affairs, instead of sittin’ on the bench watchin’ the action from the sidelines, or shoutin,”we was robbed!”at the TV from the settee. We’d be off our rockers tae let this opportunity pass. OK, I’m kinda out of seaty puns now. Sofa, so good… Ah wis goin’ tae couch that differently.. mmm….
Just think, in a few years, we could see an independent Scottish Paralympic team on TV doin the previously unattainable – overcoming the handicap of others raising the electoral bar and moving the political goalposts. We’re a wee country. Accept it. But wee-ness (as like lots of dwarfs* & midgets* already know) doesn’t need to be seen as a shortcoming. Being small and nimble never stopped Archie Gemill in 1978,… mmm, och aye, and we might just win the World Cup while we’re at it. It’ll look braw on the sideboard. Now, anyone got Ally McLeod’s phone number ?
*(apologies for non-PC terminology, but they are real words, and they’re used to illustrate the relative size-ness point of the paragraph)
Paul R Bear 
Pingback: Neighbours | Paul R Bear·